Truth be told, my training for the past 6-8 weeks has neither been consistent, nor partaken with personally set standards of intensity/ferocity.
New territory, as training has always been my “rock,” always an important focus, a sort of meditation if you will, always a part of my life since I was in my late teens. It was definitely on the back-burner.
I had a bit of a “heads up” knowing that my way of life was about to change, my jobs, would become a job. The process has been complex, yet also very simple in some ways.
I was returning to a familiar place, and leaving familiar places. Seeing old friends, not seeing current friends, at least nearly as often. My early morning rising has become later, my early to bed, has become late nights.
The stress was incredible, actually sometimes unthinkably unbearable. UN-describable. I often woke in the middle of the night, thoughts racing, “Am I doing the right thing?”
Money, bills, relationships, comfort, security, values, all sorts of dynamics were in question, and those questions conveniently often surfaced at 3:00 a.m. like a blender of forlorn.
Somewhere along the way, along this pathway, I realized that what is important is the player of the game, not so much the game itself. The code of conduct, not the real-time circumstances.
They are like the wind.
You will bring YOU to whatever the day decides to throw at you. Your own personal power can and will determine your end result.
Some will be with you, some will not. Some will legitimately support, some will just feign support (I see you, even though it might not seem like I do.) 😀
At the end of the day, it is simply just doing what is best for yourself and those that matter to you, those you care for.